Turn Around

So I'm ready for that point in life where everything turns around and starts working again...I think it's starting. Some things are going well, so that's a start right?

In an effort to not be such a downer I've been trying to think of all the things I have to be grateful for, I mean "Our life's are blessed in countless ways." (Monson) So why not live it up. So starting now positive blogging will occur. I still haven't taken any pictures...Brady got some but frankly I haven't even seen those yet.

So TURN AROUND, I'm over here.

Stressed. Overwhelmed. Worried. But I got this.

After winter comes summer.
After night comes dawn.
And after every storm,
there comes CLEAR OPEN SKIES.
***** Samuel Rutherford*****

There will be NOTHING that will destroy us.
*****Thomas S. Monson*****

It'll be an adventure Charlie...

So...talk about bored lately, I don't have a job which means the spice cabinet, the pantry, the corner cabinet, the basement and my room are generally clean. It also means that, I'm bored out of my mind, there's only so many things to clean before it gets lame.

It also means I had time to make a bedspread for my new bed, which looks awesome! (I tried to take pictures but it looks less awesome on here...) So maybe see it in real life.

Recent discovery I have taken zero pictures since Halloween, HALLOWEEN! What the flip is up with me lately, am I not having fun? Have I been on no adventures? This will end, hopefully when finals are over for certain people that I do stuff with that I haven't seen in forever. Dumb finals.

In a recent attempt to spice life up a bit, I have done nothing to help that...so starting this minute (tomorrow) I'm going to have fun, be creative, and do stuff. So I don't become the boring person I am turning into, if somebody asks you what you did today and you say you organized the spice cabinet you've got bigger problems than super old spices from who knows when.

So in an effort to ditch the lame, something big is coming...when I know what it is I'll let you know, if you'd like to be involved, even better.

I need a project.

Well that wasn't part of the plan...

...the plan wasn't to lose my job a few months after I bought a new car.
...the plan wasn't to not have a plan if that ever happened.
...the plan wasn't to have it happen right before Christmas.
...the plan was to keep on keepin' on.
I feel very blessed my grandparents gave me money for Christmas which will pay for insurance and my car payment. So even though this wasn't the plan. This is going to work. It has to right?
Because no matter what happens in "my plan", his plan works. So here we go.

Following

Can I just say that I love Relief Society now!? Holy awesome, shout out to Lexie...best teacher ever!

So today we talked about the Holy Ghost and it was just a bunch of stories people gave of times in their lives that they felt the spirit. I was asked to give one, well she asked me last week but I was thinking about it and most of the ones I remember are times I didn't listen...yikes, I know.

Dating, I know all you married folk time to zone out, is soo stressful and I think a lot of times we make it that way a lot more than it needs to be. Working on it ok. I feel like I'm doing a lot better at not being such a freak. haha So this isn't really a plug about dating now, mostly because I feel like I'm doing fine dating at the moment (not an announcement of anything), but looking back on past relationships obviously the ones that didn't work out I could have been so much more blessed if I followed the answer I "didn't want".

Let's just say I know the feeling you get when something isn't right, I remember getting that every time I was dating someone and it wasn't right. That's I guess what's heart, it wasn't what I wanted, it wasn't what I was praying for, and it wasn't the plan I had set out. And therein lies the problem, what's going to happen in my life isn't my plan I'm not in charges. Ah. haha So here's the feelings I got when it's not His plan in hopes that I'll do better at following-
Right when I got out of high school I started dating hardcore, one guy. It was awesome, he was super funny, fun, cool, and all the things that made life awesome. Things were going great, I was praying about it and never really got an answer that it was right I felt good about it, but I never felt like I got an answer that it was wrong. I went to Women's Conference with no objective but to feel the spirit, mission accomplished. It was so awesome. I was sitting in one session, she wasn't even talking about dating or anything, but I got the strongest feeling that it wasn't going to work. Of course, this wasn't the answer I was looking for or the answer I wanted. I went into the bathroom and prayed that feeling would go away. So I didn't listen...we kept dating, and just like the feeling I got and should have listened to we broke up. It was awful. But I'm so grateful that it didn't work out, I was nineteen for crying out loud. Frankly he married the next girl so congrats to them.
It's like that moment when someone is breaking up with you and you think to yourself this wasn't the plan, I'm supposed to be happy. Where's that guy? So after several failed attempts and what I thought I needed/wanted I'm not paying attention to what I want anymore I'm trying really hard to listen to what He wants.
Note to self: recently I was dating someone it was going well, then of course it got not as well, I really liked him we had so much fun. But I wasn't really being treated in a way that I loved. So I went with the answer I had been given not the answer I necessarily wanted to get, it wasn't right. It wasn't going to work, as much as I wanted it to, as much fun as we had, there's something better somewhere. I've never really broken up with someone, I don't like hurting peoples feelings, it's awful. But I knew the answer, and I knew the outcome might not be what I wanted it to be but it would be either now or a while down the road that this answer was what would happen. Man this doesn't make sense probably to anybody else but me.

So here goes nothing, following the promptings of the Holy Ghost. FOLLOWING. Not leading. It's going to work out. It's going to work out.

It's like when somebody tells you about something they may have done, and there's two reactions you could have: oh my gosh, steer clear of them or oh my gosh, you're not perfect either? Note to self: nobody's perfect. Join the club. But I'm trying really hard to come close? Welcome to life.

I feel like there should be pictures or an update of recent life in the following area, I don't have pictures the only ones I have is from the Nearly Naked Mile that are in Brady's possession. So here's a recap of the now:

Rocket Summer concert, I just have to say that his concerts are the best concerts I have been to in my entire life! I love this guy! He's so into the music. It's amazing. Me and Brando went and well I am very lucky I didn't lose my voice because it was an acoustic concert sing along style, awesome!

Me and Thomas my really good friend went ice skating, it was super fun to catch up! Ice skating hurts a lot more than I remember, and watch out for us in the next Olympics because we're soo good at it. Should have taken pictures...next time.

So this friday they did this thing called the Nearly Naked Mile, it was interesting...haha. Some people should really just wear clothes all the time, it was funny Brady was taking pictures for senate...and well, it was the Nearly Naked Mile if you can imagine. Ben was partly in charge so we went as a fan base, number 1 fan here. I told him that we were going to make posters, but I got nervous. haha So we didn't...but I did make one last night and left it on his car which said the following: Congrats on your naked accomplishments! -Your number 1 fan. I guess I have a picture of that. Success.

Double or Nothing, so my friends started this band in 2004, they had a CD release party on saturday and it was amazing! Compare this CD to their first ones, holy improvement! haha. They had Matt's family all play violins with them, it was sooo cool! And also I got to see my long lost friend Cecilia!! I love that girl, we will be partying soon. Mark my words.

I think that's pretty much the update...Oh and Allison is coming to town! Best Thanksgiving ever! A party is in store, and frankly there will be pictures and fun and friends I never get to see. I love those girls!

So for now, key word is FOLLOWING. Oh and read The Traveler's Gift, it is amazing! Back to reading, thanks Lexie.

Are we there yet?

So the plan was to go to bed...but I couldn't so here we are. Hi.

There seems to be a common thread in my life about what I'm supposed to learn right now, I know what you're thinking I thought she had everything mastered what could she possibly have to learn, not so. I have a lot to learn about life and other stuff. What's this times theme: Patience. I have to have a lot of patience in a lot of things right now it seems like, and it's not even things that know I need to have patience for, if that even makes sense.

If it was up to me that wouldn't be the lesson of the moment, I'm pretty patient already don't need to learn it anymore thanks. :) If I were going to choose it would about I don't even know, something fun like foosball. haha Anyway the point is, I'm becoming a very patient person and it's really hard a lot of the time, but on the upside (because there's always an upside right?) it's also making life a lot easier a majority of the time which is a big plus.

I'm also learning a lot about communication, turns out I kind of have sucked at it in the past. But don't you think life would be a lot easier if people just came out and said exactly what they were thinking? I think we make stuff harder than it needs to be aka work, relationships, mostly dating. haha If you just would talk to each other and knew what was going on the things that you don't like or are that are going crappy in your opinion could be solved. Let's face it sometimes things are just peachy, but a lot of times they could be if you knew the facts. It used to make me really sick to my stomach and give me a lot of anxiety but I'm working on it and it's going really well so far, I haven't even gotten sick. Win.

On a final note, I've thought a lot about life and I how I thought it would go. The things I at the time I thought I wanted, ps I would so be married by now and probably have some little children, thank goodness it wasn't up to me. Wow, that sounds really weird. But think about it you've dated someone and it feels just great and you think ok here we go, time for marriage. Sometimes it isn't right, you may want it but you don't need it. So here's to getting what you need, and working on the things you need to have. So in a few words, no we're not there yet. But we're on the right track...? Unless there was some road sign we missed along the way. (Don't worry there wasn't)

This is totally one of those posts that probably doesn't ever need to be read...so welcome to my online journal, one day we'll look back at this and laugh.

Holy updated blog Batman.

So I recently had a party...and ps I love having parties! I love getting together with a bunch of friends just doing whatever, and catching up. Oddly enough I really love when some of my friends don't know each other start talking, fun times.

The plan: everyone I haven't seen in ages gets together and carves pumpkins. Here's the results-
In no particular order (the order of the pumpkins): Katie, Wes and Ashley; Jake; Doug; Me; Ben; and Brando

Katie came!!!! I was sooo excited! I love this girl! BF for sure. So she thought it was a costume party...and she came in when we were playing Mafia, right when we had to close our eyes. Didn't like that, so I had to feel my way across the room with my eyes closed to get to her! Ps I love Katie!
These guys...they crack me up. Wes had to put the top on her head. She loved it obviously. Cutest kid ever.
Have you met these girls? Megan, love her. Cute little pregnant Megan. And Katie the pirate.What would life be without Brando? I have no idea...let's not test that one out.Me and Ben, or Ben and I to be proper. He's fun. :) Also he thinks he's sly putting his pumpkins in my pumpkin, not sly Ben, not sly.Oh yeah and it was Tim's birthday last week...so I made him a cake, he loves the attention. haha

So here we go...a list of friends and why I miss them, and stuff we need to start back up people.

Katie: Umm, anything and everything. Rollerblading, bike rides, hour walks to get blisters, running to Peak, Subway. I don't think I need to continue, let's do stuff.
Brando: Cheesecake runs, talks about life, concerts, rocking out to music in the car. Cheesecake please?
Brady: I see you sometimes, but pictures of great stuff, In n Out, Walmart runs for nothing leaving with way to much, Barnes and Noble. We need to steer clear of that one. But let's party.
Cecilia: Random movies, chalk murals, homemade birthday cakes, awesomeness. Move back to Ogden?
Scott: cheese and sparkling cider, cool pictures, deers, . Get out of Idaho. Thanks.
Doug: vest night. I have no other words.
Jake: Mix CDs, fun times, institute dances.
Justin: Moulin Rouge, chick flicks with a ton of girls and just you, Van cakes, etc.
Sam: all of the above and more. Get back here.
Thomas: Office, hikes, talking, How to Train Your Dragon. How are people going to talk about all the fun stuff we do if we're all talk?
Devin, Ben, Dan, Tate, Fowler boys: Umm, the Fowler house parties. Sigh.
I know there are way more people that I'm missing, and it's not because I don't love you it's because it's been so long that my mind is blanking. But add yourself to the list and insert something great we've done. And how about we rock it again? Thanks dudes.

So recently, right now, I've been reminded about all the fun things I've been able to do in my life...and frankly, I don't know why I don't do more of those things now. What happened to me? Am I an adult now that only works all the time? Yuck. College was so fun, we did fun stuff all the time. Here's the plan, I'm going to start to do those things again if you want in on that action...sign this sheet, we're having fun and taking names.